1. |
Murder in the Village
03:49
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Murder in the village, Sir Roger’s driving in
Suspicion points the finger at irascible Miss Pym
But she’s a red herring, and so is Mr Pool
The handyman and janitor who creeps around the school
There is no bigger picture, no close analysis
The English have no theory, they just celebrate what is
There is no corpse in evidence, there’s just a sneaking cringe
And what it is is what it is and that will never change
Murder in the village, the investigation plods along
Is anything more English than dying on the lawn?
Mustn’t grumble, I suppose, we’d better carry on
Murdering and murdering ’til everybody’s gone
Murder in the village, everyone’s to blame
The victim and the murderer are one and the same
The villagers are done to death, the vicar’s in the ditch
But lo, here comes Sir Roger now, with slow Inspector Inch
Sir Roger blames the gypsies encamped down in the trench
Inspector Inch says at a pinch it could have been the French
Unless it was the malcontents who kill people with bombs
With their weird intense convictions and their cod-religious songs
Murder in the village, conclusions crowd anew
Is anything more English than a killing with a view?
Mustn’t grumble, I suppose, we ought to carry on
Murdering and murdering ’til everybody’s gone
Sunset on the empire, sunset on the state
Reality is stretching now, it must be getting late
If the killer strikes tomorrow he is sure to strike tonight
Will the last living Englishman please turn off the light?
The vicar’s at the slaughterhouse, Inch is watching Morse
The gypsies are assembled in the dell beyond the golf course
But Sir Roger, as he falls asleep, is having an idea
Of course, he thinks, I’ve been a fool, I see what’s happened here!
Everybody did it, no cause for alarm
Is anything more English than the cricket of self-harm?
For everybody’s sake we cannot carry on
Murdering and murdering ’til everybody’s gone
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2. |
Panathenian
03:40
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3. |
Make Way
02:18
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Make way, make way for more of the same
Like it, lump it, nothing's going to change
Raise your hat to a system with no name
No escape and nobody to blame
Stamp your foot, have a tantrum if you must
But my song is a source that you can trust
De facto democracy is gone
All screwed up, move on
Can you feel some change is blowing in?
Nor can I, but no need to be grim
Stamp-collecting, tennis, macramé
These are joys that never go away
So stamp your foot, have a tantrum if you must
But this song is a source that you can trust
De facto democracy is gone
Old spilt milk, move on
Send the army in, close the papers down
Always promised I'd retake the town
Courts are mine, the judges are corrupt
Stand before them and good luck!
Make way, make way for more of the same
Like it, lump it, nothing's going to change
But believe me, I never act from spite
All I do is anything I like
Stamp your foot, have a tantrum if you must
But my song is a source that you can trust
De facto democracy is gone
Old spilt milk, move on
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4. |
The European
03:28
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Praha, Paris, Stuttgart, Milan
Barcelona, Porto, Bilbao, Berlin
Hamburg, Brussels, Las Palmas, Budapest
Edinburgh, Bratislava, Amsterdam, Trieste
The European, The European
Vienna, Copenhagen, Stockholm, Rome
Warsaw, Geneva, London, Cologne
Riga, Odessa, Aleppo, Bucharest
Istanbul, Dublin, Skopje, Budapest
Who changed the wine into water again?
Who drank the wine from the watering can?
Who changed the wine into water again?
Who threw the wine in the sea?
Beirut, Tel Aviv, Asmara, Isfahan
Gaza, Cairo, Tripoli, Oran
Rimini, Split, Dusseldorf, Turin
Strasbourg, Manchester, Helsinki, Rotterdam
The European, The European
Den Hague, Rostock, Athen, Marseille
Madrid, Frankfurt, Lille, Montpellier
Beirut, Tel Aviv, Asmara, Isfahan
Gaza, Cairo, Tripoli, Oran
Who changed the wine into water again?
Who drank the wine from the watering can?
Who changed the wine into water again?
Who threw the wine in the sea?
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5. |
This is the Place
03:04
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Beyond the things I know I want lies everything I want
How wonderful to ride upon an electronic swan
Too much of a good thing can still be a good thing
Speaking without judging, hearing myself say
The day plus all my thoughts about it is still the day
Old forms of obedience slip the grasp of sense
This is the place to which he is coming
This is the table at which he will sit
Here will be his actual body
If he should not come
I cannot bear it
Yet somebody must be seeing him now
Everything plus one more thing equals everything
There can be no permissions for pleasures still unknown
Don't be so hard on yourself, break yourself at dawn
Somebody must be seeing him now
His actual body
This is the table at which he will sit
This is the place to which he is coming
If he should not come
This is the place
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6. |
Midas
04:36
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Midas, the king with the golden brain
My lust is also my pain
In Babylon, people are swung
And rung like bells
Your heaven on earth
Is our hell
My life doesn't mean anything
The people I loved, the people I killed
Hang like flowers on a string
I drink golden wine
Eat golden bread
Give golden head
The sickening crush
Of metal on flesh
Hangs heavy as lead
Midas, your totally putrid power
Disguises your murders as flowers
Logic is gone
In Babylon
Where we live now
Clanging like bells
Dancing like swells
Around your sacred cow
He gave us the gun
The king with the golden brain
He says we've got to shoot someone
Or break someone or marry someone
Make someone feel our pain
The tongues in your bells
The blood in your wells
The guilt in your throne
We ejaculate
Mechanical hate
Into your golden phone
Midas, the king with the golden brain
Spiders are vastly more sane
They live in their webs
Watching their eggs
With six or eight eyes
Spin in the sun
Killing no-one
Or just a few flies
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7. |
British
02:39
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Here in this postcard
I want to tell you
What I never could to your face
Because I'm British, reserved
I hope you're happy
I hope that you are being served
Sometimes I feel so British, if you please
So British, if you please, I'm turning Japanese
Whoops, tsk tsk, dot dot dot
The weather's stormy here in Osaka
Stiff upper lip and all that kind of thing
Note to self: do buck up
I feel so strange here
I feel so far away from everything
I'm running out space again
So much to say
I'm signing off now
I hope you're chipper, toodle pip
Do try to keep in touch
Keep your dander up
Sometimes I feel so British, if you please
So unreal I'm almost Japanese
Whoops, PS, I forgot
Do I miss you? Not a lot
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8. |
The Mosquito Song
03:08
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Mosquito male, you’re a gentleman, sir
You don’t bite flesh, you live on flower nectar
It’s your bloody wife with her tongue in my leg
Taking all my blood to make her eggs
Your vampire wife is out of control
Sucking my soul
Mrs Mosquito sucks, Mrs Mosquito goes
What she does with my blood, God only knows
I don’t feel a thing as the tongue sinks in
But in the twinkle of an eye the itch begins
Your vampire wife Mr Mosquito
Is out of control
Mrs Mosquito loves when the cool wind blows
Slides through the air, then down she goes
Moschino top, Cosabella below
Out comes the tongue, and through my clothes
Your vampire wife Mr Mosquito
Sucks my soul
Wanna whack her with a slipper, gotta to catch her first
With her whining voice she’s a late night curse
When I’m falling asleep she will sing her song
Then comes her tongue, and the night is long
I'm falling asleep, she's singing her song
And the night is long
I'm falling asleep, she is singing her song
And the night is long
Your vampire wife Mr Mosquito
Sucks my soul
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9. |
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The gods came to Sichuan
The gods declared their plan
To destroy Sichuan
I'm so good but I've been bad
I'm so sappy I've been had
Hoping for a glimpse of something fine
The classical atrocities I studied at the dump
Belonged to my oppressor all the time
And when the gods came down to Sichuan
The gods declared their plan
If they could not find one good person in Sichuan
They would destroy the dam
And thus destroy Sichuan
There's a money sum for every personal injury
Here at 1-800-I-CAN-SUE
This is how the great city of Mahagonny fell
We may have a downfall right for you
Remaindered books and records
The murdered possibilities
The tragic disappearance we enact
Recapping the achievements
Of the yellow hunter monkeys
Whose genome is regrettably inact
And when the gods came down to Sichuan
The gods declared their plan
If they could not find one good person in Sichuan
They would destroy the dam
And thus destroy Sichuan
And the gods were in disguise
You had to shade your eyes
They seemed to throw a light
And everywhere they went
People would repent for a while
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10. |
Trump
03:19
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I've got nothing but Mr Trump
I'm no threat to your system
I ape the swells in their parking garages
But down in the park at midnight
I don't think like a victim
A class in itself will never be
A class in itself for me
I'm too busy aping swells
Mr Trump siree
And my objective interests
Are your interests too
We're aboard this Hindenburg together
Mr Trump it's me and you
We don't have time to drink cheap wine
With the new precariat
We're all for swigging dream champagne
In our dream top hats
Cos it's bull and bear
Water, air
The market is a force of nature
Privatise the land, the skies
Mr Trump we'll be happy ever after
I've got nothing but I shall dine
On the crumbs from your table
Trickledown made this town
But we will be in the Hudson
Because we are not able
A class in itself will never be
A class in itself for me
I tip my no top hat
When you flip your no tip
I dream we work on Wall Street
Dream we made a pile
I dream we comb the same receding hairstyle
Donald, it's the style
We don't have time to drink cheap wine
With the new precariat
We're all for swigging dream champagne
In our dream top hats
Cos it's bull and bear
Water, air
The market is a force of nature
Privatise the land, the skies
Mr Trump I'm doubled up with laughter
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11. |
Garland
04:12
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I find you so glamorous
Your very failure is success
You became the little mouse that roared
And when I'm nearly desperate
When life is looking desolate
Like Judy Garland you can make me soar
And if you say there is a way
I'll follow you the whole world through
Even though I know the price to pay
We'll leave the places we began
Dispense with evil gentlemen
Alea jacta est, so let us play
The Wickedest Witch of the West
Is killing me with pointlessness
The neighbours and the parents and the grind
I saw a Strawman in the rain
His friend the Tinman was in pain
The brain, the heart and courage left behind
(We are heterosexuals by the way
But we may be the queerest people you will meet all day)
And I find you so glamorous
My feelings for you? Amorous
Like Judy Garland you can make things fun again
And if we're getting desperate
If life is looking desolate
We'll hitch our wagon to a fucking hurricane
They're dosing me with serotonin
Re-uptake inhibitors
Fluoxetine is branded as Prozac
The side-effects are feeling sick
Dizziness, a droopy dick
So now I'm drowsy yet insomniac
But somewhere over the rainbow
Is Berlin
Or just a clean, well-lighted place
Where we can start again
(We're pessimistic realists in our way
But we're the biggest optimists that you will meet all day)
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12. |
Fuck This Year
02:57
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Fuck this year, fuck this pain
Things will never be good again
Fuck this year with a sawn-off brick
Fuck this year, it makes me sick
Fuck this year with the sizzle of death
Fuck it 'til its final breath
Fuck this year from the bottom to the top
Fuck this year until it drops
Fuck this year of the gibbering creeps
Fuck this year until it weeps
Well fuck this year, this horrible corpse
Fuck its scuttling cockroach walk
Fuck this year with its gibbering lies
Fuck this year until it dies
Fuck this harvest, fuck this toll
Fuck these people who have no soul
Well fuck this world in a wobbling fall
Fuck this year, the worst of all, well
Fuck this populist oligarchy
Stop hacking in and stop spying on me
Fuck the leaders and fuck their sheep
Fuck the whole rusty scrapheap
Fuck this year, yes, that's the gist
Bum this year with a buggering fist
Well bugger this year with a Christmas log
Shove this year in a gulping bog
Melt this year like candlewax
Before something even worse attacks
Fuck your Brexit, fuck your Trump
They stink worse than the spunk of a skunk
Fuck this year with a killer fist
Make this year unexist
All things nice, sugar and spice
All things nice, sugar and spice
Be taken away from my enemy
Fuck this year from me
Fuck your side, you were wrong
We were right, you'll find out
When it's too late
The year of hate
Fuck this year, this horrible corpse
Fuck its scuttling cockroach walk
Fuck this world in a wobbling fall
Fuck this year, the worst of all
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13. |
Pure Selfishness
04:47
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Why do we do what we do in the dark
Why do the cows go moo and the dogs all bark
Why did the beasts go two by two into the ark
Why do we walk with no conscious intention
So frequently here in the park?
Pure selfishness
Why do I sing what I sing in this song
Why do the flowers grow weak and the weeds grow strong
Why did Faye Wray love the hideous monster King Kong
Why do we suffer and smother each other
The answer's been clear all along
Pure selfishness
I used to wonder what makes the world go round
I no longer wonder what makes the world go round
Selfishness is all we need
What turns the world is greed
For love
For love
Why do we do what we do in the dark?
For love
Be like the animals, be like the birds and the bees
Be like the blossom that falls to the grass from the trees
Push your excitement on up to its selfish release
The whole of the law will be Aleister Crowley's "do what you please"
Pure selfishness
Pure selfishness
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14. |
Charm School
03:11
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When your legs give way beneath you
And your body wobbles
Yet you think this great disaster
Spells the end to all your troubles
You’ve been charmed
You’ve been harmed
By someone with a certain smile
Why not earn
Why not learn
The skillset of that crocodile
Charm school
Smooch your way to a free place in it
Charm school
Seduction has no earthly limit
Yes, it is unfair
But we’ve got to get you up there
Charm ensures survival
Get one over on your rival
Charm school
Where men learn to capture women
Charm school
Lesson one: the Stockholm Syndrome
Bypassing free will
A communicable skill
Charm is your survival
Get one over on your rival
Are you really in control of
Everything you do?
Are you really rational
Or are desires controlling you?
Raise your voice?
Is that a choice
Or what some bold Lothario taught you?
They’re so charming
So alarming
So bold and so disarming
Charm school
Oops, the bastards closed us down now
Charm school
We were poised to take this town now
But they say we pissed
On the right of buggers to resist
Seduction is the rival
Of a world that hates survival
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15. |
My Rose
03:27
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My rose has a thorn in the eye of its teeth
I'm rolling down the hill
Rolling in the sun
My rose has a sigh in the side of its eye
Earth is turning and the earth is burning
My rose is falling through the cobwebs of an eye
Everlasting sigh
Oh why, oh why, why do we die?
My body's flying and the cobweb is dying
And weeds crowd the hall
And the geese they are flying
O rose, caught in the spider's web
Sign of impending night
Sign of impending sighs
O rose, why do you droop so
On my window, oh woe
Oh God knows
O rose, oh why
Why do we die?
"Then had we time enough?
Ten thousand multiplied by
Ninety-nine thousand
Nine hundred and ninety-nine
All over the world and all over time
Is not endless
The difference between dead and living" (Borges)
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16. |
I Cat My Hair
03:38
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I cat my hair
It made me beautiful
I cat my hair
It looked unbelievable
I took my scissors in hand
I cat my hair without a plan
Now I'm a space invader
And you're my roller blader
I cat my hair
But not for you, my love
I cat my hair
To make me fresh and new, my love
Around me everywhere I go
People follow shooting photos
I don't care if they stare
Because this haircat makes me happy
Whoever thought that such a little thing
Could make me feel so happy
So happy, so happy
Completely happy
So I'm the space invader
And you're my roller blader
I cat my hair
Right now I feel reborn
I cat my hair
My look is ripped and torn
Staring at me in the mirror
Is some crazy punky singer
And I just think, wow wee
Looking at it makes me happy
It's such a little thing
But it has changed my life and made me
Happy, so happy, just happy
Completely happy
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17. |
The Stars Are Out
04:27
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Idolatry isn't what it used to be
Not since they miniaturised God, you see
Kid's got talent like my bed's got styrofoam
I know it's true, I've seen it on my telephone
Tommy's talent is the spoken word
He takes a diamond, turns that jewel into a turd
Turns that jewel into a turd
The stars are out tonight
We have been robbed of light
The ordinary isn't where it used to be
Since it became the new extraordinary
Maggie Thatcher, no relation
Does melisma like vibration
She can string a syllable
So far it's criminal
The stars are out tonight
We have been robbed of light
Jackie's face is long
Her ten seconds of fame are gone
And now I hear she is
A scientologist
We have been robbed of light
The stars are out tonight
The stars…
We have been robbed of light
The stars are out tonight
The stars are out tonight
We have been robbed of light
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18. |
Superstars of Bollywood
03:18
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We are the superstars of Bollywood
We dance the Technicolor bomb
So much to feel, passion so real
In the mountains of Assam
When we dance, we dance in Bollywood
I'm always cast at your side
You're India's number one star
I'm your lover and your bride
I was the biggest fool in Bollywood
You had a girl on the side
Some stupid floozy you met on a movie
A move you should never have tried
We are the superstars of Bollywood
Though we are dying inside
I smile as though charmed
To lie in your arms
I'd rather commit suicide
Putting on my makeup in my dressing room
My tears fall into the sacrificial wine
Will I be sick when I sing to the prick
Who has ruined my life: "Be mine!"
We are the superstars of Bollywood
We dance the Technicolor bomb
So much to feel, passion so real
In the mountains of Assam
Of Assam…
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19. |
Slippery Life
03:48
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It's a slippery life
When even Mr Sherlock Holmes
Is outrun by developments
And wanders lost at 3am
Without his pipe
And Watson nowhere to be found
Grasping for the truth
An old syringe
It's a slippery life
When love and love alone, it seems
Can stand between your sanity
And something strange and frightening
And the madman at the salad bar
Disrupts the peaceful kitchen
Grabs the plastic knife
Makes to slice a throat
It's a slippery life
When love and love alone, it seems
Can stand between your sanity
And something strange and frightening
And the madman at the salad bar
Disrupts the peaceful kitchen
Grasping for the truth
An old syringe
It's a slippery life
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20. |
Perfecto
04:00
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I threw wine in the face of nothing
Torture me or let me be
Sold my mind to a higher power
Sold my soul to glory
Someone locked me in the bathroom
Of the dirty mausoleum
All I do is watch TV
Stranded in the blue museum
You seemed to think it was hard to stay in touch
After a night of TV you cried too much
You seemed to think that the change would do me good
I'd like to help but then both my arms are
Made of wood or made of stone
Can't you use the telephone?
Can't you even talk to me?
Is your tongue a piece of seaweed
Mozart came to visit me
At 8 o'clock on Sunday evening
All we did was watch TV
But I found it so revealing
When I made a mountain range
Pardon me, I was a sinner
It was with a razor blade
White powder and a mirror
You left me here in the bathroom years ago
I watched the tears of a clown through years of snow
The years of snow were a board game I could play
I cut my hair but my face looks old
Today your birthday's come along and still
You stream the tape at the speed of the perfect kill
A certain kiss has replaced a certain smile
You turn me off when the lights are on
You left me here in the bathroom years ago
I watched the tears of a clown through years of snow
The years of snow were a board game I could play
You turn me off when the lights are on
Back to life and back to glory
Did you say you'd like to share me?
With the pig and with the monkey
You turn me off when the lights are on
Thugs like you are hard to beat
But you've got a lovely granny
If you like I will repeat
I think you've got a lovely fanny
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Momus Berlin, Germany
Momus is "the David Bowie of the art-pop underground" (The Guardian). "Behind all the scoffing defiance there wafts something dark, too" (Die Tageszeitung). "There's a tone all the way through his work of a slightly aloof and superior being smiling cruelly at the foibles of human nature" (Stuart Maconie, BBC Radio). ... more
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